A Letter to You
I decided to write this letter to you
who is looking for peace, love and joy in life
at every given moment like myself.
Let me tell you a story, a love story...a quest of a soul.
The quest of the soul searching journey
really started when I was in high school.
All of a sudden, I was facing a series of traumas in life…
one after another….it continued until the death of my mother.
I was asking people around me for answers.
However, I was not satisfied with any of them.
I believed there must be other answers.
So, I left. I left Taiwan to look for the answers of life.
I went to China, France, then finally settled down in NYC.
By then, I thought the answers were
devoted myself to take the pain away from people.
I started to go deep into breathing, yoga, mediation.
I studies from different teachers,
wisdom from the east and the west.
I started to teach. I became a popular teacher.
I determined to do services for the world,
so I worked with UN, meeting with mayors,
presidents of the countries, setting up services projects.
I thought I found the answers.
However, things got turned around so quickly.
I met someone.
I thought that if I was on the spiritual path,
I did not need relationships, I did not need love.
I did not need money, I did not need family.
I did not need anything.
I only needed to give and give and give.
I only needed to help and love others.
My emotion was up and down because of the relationship.
I was amazed to watch myself.
I thought I was already very center, and dispassion.
I thought I was on the way to enlightenment.
I thought all the pain was gone
after so many years of meditation, on the spiritual path.
It is not so.
After opening up layers of covers,
I saw a little wounded girl crying for care and love inside of me.
By then, I realized I was so urge to help and fix others,
because I could not face the pain inside of me.
I realized I always believed that I had so much sin
so I need to give out myself totally, then I would be sinless,
the salvation maybe will finally dawn one day.
I thought I was very powerful.
I could do anything, anything.
I thought I was a great teacher.
My ego was getting so big.
Then one day, I realized I could not do anything
for what I wanted so badly.
I could not do anything about it anymore.
Then I keened down to God.
I cried and screaming and prayed.
I surrendered. I learned.
I learned to be humble.
I learned not to judge others or myself.
I learned to totally accept others and myself.
I learned not to fix others or myself.
I learned to see the beauty of others and myself.
I learned only when I love myself truly and totally,
then I can really give love to others.
I learned to love the God within me.
This is a love story, a journey of loving myself,
loving the God within me.